Goodbye Miata

So last Monday, I put the Miata up for sale on ksl.com. I didn't put a sign in it, or post it anywhere else... just there. The car was depressing me... the one constant reminder of my divorce, because it's basically the only thing I got out of the divorce. It made me think of Will everytime I was in it and I couldn't handle it anymore... and I needed some money, so I put it up for sale.

Well, on Saturday, a guy came to look at it, LOVED it, and paid me $3500 in CASH... and not in hundred dollar bills, but TWENTIES, and drove it away. So, now I am car-less, and have to drive my dad's beater truck until I find a car. I don't mind though... now I don't have to think about the Miata anymore.

I took the cash to the bank today, and the teller just laughed her head off when I handed her the stack. As she counted the 175 twenty dollar bills, I asked her if I was the only person she'd seen do this, and she said that she gets people who pay in cash all the time... but normally it's 100 dollar bills... never has she seen 20's.

But oh well... now I am $3500 richer... and that's the last of my marriage. Seriously makes me want to cry.

As far as my 60 days no talking to Will thing... ya I failed. I made it 9 days before he called me. I have mastered the impulse to call him, and I don't call him anymore, but he calls me everytime without fail, and I have definately NOT mastered the impulse to not answer the phone. Why do divorces have to be so hard?????????? I hate it. And most of all, I hate that I still miss him.

2 months, 2 days, and 7 pounds later

Well, I've been away from Will for 2 months and 2 days, and I feel as though I haven't gone very far. I started reading a book today titled "It's called a breakup because it's broken". Very entertaining and insightful. Apparently, I'm not supposed to talk to him for 60 days. So starting tomorrow, I hope to be able to accomplish that goal. It frightens me a bit, since the longest I've ever gone without talking to him is 3 days, but I need to put some distance between us. He has recently decided that he wants me to come back. But until I tell him that I will (which I'm not doing) he refuses to let go of the 9 other girls he has on the side. I refuse to go back to something I was so miserable in. It's nearly impossible to talk to him anymore without either feeling so incredibly guilty (which I don't think I should have to feel) or so incredibly hurt because of these other women. He punishes me for not coming back by telling me about the other women. It's not fair, and I'm done. The biggest problem I'm going to have is not answering the phone or calling him back when he calls, because he always says he's not calling me anymore, but then a day later he does. I don't get it. A month ago, we were on the same page (or so I thought) by trying to be friends. Then he went to New Mexico and ever since he got back he's been almost begging me to come home, telling me that it's all my fault that our marriage failed, and that I'm the one who left him... well duh... we lived in Montana... it's not like he was going to leave his grandfathers house. So I'm deleting my Myspace account, because it's the only other connection I have as a way to "check up" on him, which I shouldn't be doing, and I'm going to hopefully go 60 days without talking to him. Hopefully that will change things for the better. I still would like to be friends with him, but I don't see that happening unless we get some distance first.

I went back to work at the Movie Theater, which I thought would be hard, and it was the first couple days, but then I remembered how much I loved working there. I have a lot of great friends I work with, people who know both me and Will and have given me some really awesome insight to my relationship that I never saw before, and I don't dread going to work anymore. The only draw back is that there are memories associated with it, but I'm working through them and things are getting better.

I've also had TINK for 2 months now. She's getting huge! She had to deal with her first rainstorm last night and this morning which she was not happy about, but I love her anyways. She's helped me a lot.

On a positive note, since I've left Montana, I have lost 7 pounds. It feels pretty good to be able to start losing some weight. I'm hoping to get the motivation up soon to start going to the gym, but I'm still just taking things one day at a time.

Well, that's all for today... here are some recent pictures I thought I'd post.
My most recent picture of myself

Tink and Tiger (my brother's cat) hangin out together.