I Finally Figured It Out

In the last couple weeks, I've learned some interesting things thanks to some crappy circumstances, two movies, a new job, and the end of my 60 days. All of which have led me to some pretty significant life-altering views on dating/marriage as well as myself personally. The circumstances have to do with some friends of mine therefor I won't be posting any detail... If you would like to know, feel free to call/email and ask. The two movies would be "Confessions of a Shopaholic" which basically opened my eyes to my frivolous spending... (and also itsa fabulous chick flick... I highly recommend it!) and "He's Just Not That Into You" which painted the dating world in a whole new light for me. It has seriously changed my world.

If you haven't seen it, I think it's a must see! At least for all women! It tells a truth I don't think people have every really dared tell before. And it's really a very simple concept: if a guy is into you, 99% of the time he will let you know. Yes there are exceptions... Yes this logic doesn't apply to everyone, but if we don't accept this logic as the rule then we end up lying to ourselves and each other. Yes, no one wants to be rejected. It hurts, it sucks, it makes you question whether or not something is wrong with you, but I'd much rather have the truth than feel any kind of hope when really there just isn't. The main things I have come to realize is this (and yes, some stolen straight from the movie):

-I would much rather be told the truth about things than be lied to or left to wonder because someone was worried about offending me! This goes for everything... Whether it be a guy not interested, job related, anything! Most people would rather do just about anything than risk confrontation but I don't get mad that easily. I'm more offended when I find out later I was lied to or led on or even wasted time holding onto something because of hope.

-I am totally like the main character in He's Just Not That Into You. She's escentric, optimistic, and obsessive. Because of this reason, I tend to hold on to any possible amount of hope I can possibly find. There is a line she says that really stood out to me. Is was: "I may disect every tiny little thing and put myself out there too much, but at least that means I still have hope." Its true. I analyis every little sign and if I'm interested in someone, I put myself out there. These things are definitely not great but at least it means that I haven't given up!

-The other quote that really just made a lot of sense was: "If a guy acts like he doesn't give a s***, he genuinely doesn't give a s***!"

-At some point, I will eventually be someones exception!

And last but not least, because I have been talking to Will again and he has not changed at all, I have finally been able to figure out how to tell him no. I don't know what is going to happen or if he will accept it for long, but I'm strong, steady, and very firm in my resolve to never go back. Unlike before, I don't doubt or question it. I know I am doing the right thing. Hes just not the guy for me. And so, here it is... The one factor that I have been able to see, the one simple truth that I never realized that has been born from the last couple weeks:

IF YOU HAVE TO SACRIFICE ANY PART OF WHO YOU ARE, YOUR HOPES, GOALS, OR EVEN DREAMS TO BE WITH SOMEONE: THAT PERSON IS NOT THE PERSON FOR YOU. The right person will never feel like a sacrifice and will never ask you to compromise or change who you are and will love you for who you are. And I never want to be with someone who takes anything like that away from me again.




(Keep in mind, this is my own opinion and if you disagree, that's ok.)