If Only I Was Aloud To Speak My Mind

Working in the theater, mainly the Box Office, you deal with many different types of people. Often, however, you get many of the same questions/problems. Some are easy to deal with, and others make you want to pull your hair out. Most days, I'd like to post a bunch of signs to the most common questions, however I think I'd end up plastering the ENTIRE Box Office in paper signs. So instead, I'm going to compile my list here, as well as things I'd like to say, but would get me fired.

• In the movie theater industry, the customer is NOT always right.
• If you are a senior citizen and you don't tell me, you are going to get charged the regular price. I am not going to try and guess.
• The ticket kiosk is NOT broken. If you'd read the machine, you'd notice you are swiping your credit card the wrong way.
• Yes, it really does cost $8.25 to see a movie, and no, you are not 12-years-old.
• Just because you failed to read the instructions when you ordered your tickets on Fandango and did not bring your credit card in order for me to retrieve your tickets, does not entitle you to a free movie!
• Reading the show times wrong is your fault, not mine. And no, you don't get a free movie because of it.
• Sometimes, projectors break down, causing a movie cancellation. It's not my fault. Please don't yell at me for it.
• If I inform you that it's down to front row and scattered seating, I actually know what I'm talking about.
• If I have to question whether or not you are 21 or younger, and you are wanting to see a Rated R movie, you will get ID'd. If you don't have your ID and the person with you is not 21, you aren't getting into that movie.
• If you aren't 17 and you aren't accompanied by someone 21 or older, you aren't getting into a Rated R movie. I'm not willing to break the law for you.
• If I ask you how old your child is and you have to think about it for more than a second while you check the children age requirements, I know you are lying.
• I don't automatically know what movie you want to see. You actually have to tell me.
• If the line is out the door, by the time you get to the ticket counter, you should know what you want to see and have your money out to pay. Ever wonder what holds up lines?
• Don’t send someone to stand in line if they don't have the ability to pay. You do have to pay for your two-year-old... even if you plan for him/her to sit on your lap. It's in our guidelines.
• If you choose to watch a Rated R movie, I don't want to hear how awful the language/nudity is in the movie. It's Rated R for a reason people.
• I don't actually have all day to talk to you on the phone.
• If you hand me 8 individually crumpled up dollar bills, you get to wait for me to straighten them out, count them, and sort them in my drawer before I give you your ticket.
• I don't take Gift Cards for the Tinseltown Theater across the street... and yes I'm sure I know EXACTLY what company I work for. No amount of arguing will change that.
• The coupon in the Entertainment book is a DISCOUNT, not a free ticket. I promise I'm not lying, and no amount of arguing, yelling, talking to my managers, etc is going to get you into the movie for free.
• It’s actually rude to come to the Theater to purchase 5 Gift Cards at 6:30 on a Friday or Saturday night.
• You don’t have to yell into the microphone. I can actually hear everything in the foyer. I’d like to not go deaf, thanks.
• It’s not funny when you hand me the money, and then yank it away before I can grab it.
• It’s not nice to sit and argue about what movie you want to see when there are people behind you actually ready to purchase their tickets.
• I don’t have time to read you 9 different movie descriptions.
• I don’t actually see every movie we have, so I don’t know which one is the best.
• Scheming in the foyer is not a real brilliant idea. I can hear you, and yes, I’m probably listening.
• Please keep your children’s hands and arms OUT of the window hole. It makes my job difficult when they are grabbing at the tickets I’m not quite ready to give you yet.
• I don’t know when exactly the previews end. It’s not my fault you were late.
• We don’t have the ability to restart the movie for you because you read yesterday’s Showtime’s.
• If the Arcade game took your money, DON’T TRY IT AGAIN!
• Bringing alcohol into the theater is ILLEGAL people… You WILL be kicked out if we catch you with it.
• Nobody needs unlimited popcorn or soda refills. That’s just disgusting!
• It’s not my job to baby-sit your child.
• Receipts are not tickets… you can’t get into a movie with someone else’s receipt.
• I don't respond well to bullying. Bully me, and you aren't going to get a very nice cashier. Be nice to me, and chances are you'll go a lot farther with me.
• Basically, to sum it all up, RULES are RULES and I won't risk my job for you.
  

Keep in mind, I'm actually a very nice cashier, and I would never say any of this to a person, this is just a list of what usually goes through my head when people anger me. Anyways, I'm off to bed.